Self-Talk and Performance: The Most Important Part of Your Preparation
- Julie Jones
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
My son has been doing something new.
He's not just running new races, although that’s part of it. The 4x800, the 1600, the 800…that’s a lot. He even jumped into the long jump (or not-so-long-jump) and helped set a school record in the 4x8. That should be the story.
But lately, something else has been showing up, and as we head into tournament time for spring sports, this experience is something we need to be aware of…so we can do something about it before it does something to us!!
Before races, he’s been talking about how fast everyone else is. How hard the three races are. How much is it going to take out of him…before he even gets to the track!
This is new. This is not who he is. He doesn’t usually compare. Not in music. Not in swimming. Not in cross country. He just goes and does.
So, what changed?
Nothing about his ability. Nothing about his training…well…I do think he could train a little more/harder, but that’s not the real issue.
What’s changed is the conversation…what’s rolling around in his head and what’s coming out of his mouth. And that matters more than we realize.
Research in sport psychology and cognitive science is clear on this.
The voice in our head is not just describing what’s happening. It is helping determine what happens next.
Work from Ethan Kross shows that self-talk acts as a regulation system, not just a reflection. The way we speak to ourselves influences how we manage stress, make decisions and perform under pressure.
Jensen is talking about what he is trying to avoid. He’s not ORDERING WHAT HE WANTS.
When he goes to a restaurant, he orders what he wants…. because he knows what he wants…and he wants to get and enjoy what he wants!
On his way to track meets, he’s talking about all the stuff he doesn’t want. And guess what he gets????
Why is this such a big deal? Because attentional research in sport shows that performance follows focus. What you attend to becomes what your body organizes around. And your self-talk is often what directs that attention in the first place.
So instead of thinking about self-talk as “positive” or “negative,” it’s more useful to understand what it is actually doing inside our system.
Our self-talk controls three key drivers of performance.
The first one is our attention! Self-talk tells your brain what matters.
When the message is, “they’re faster than me,” attention shifts outward to comparison. When the message is, “stay smooth through 200,” attention shifts inward to execution.
We don’t perform what we don’t attend to. Or better yet…we have a much better chance of doing what we attend to!
The second one is your state! Self-talk influences your physiological response.
When our thoughts frame something as overwhelming, our brain interprets that as a threat. That triggers tighter muscles, faster breathing and a more reactive system. When our thoughts are task-focused and controlled, our bodies stay more efficient and coordinated.
Our body follows the interpretation our brain creates.
The third is expectation! Self-talk shapes prediction. As Treavor Moawad says in It Takes What It Takes, “Words are tools. They both predict and perpetuate performance.”
Our brain is constantly anticipating what is about to happen. If the message is, “This is going to be brutal,” Our system prepares to endure. If the message is, “I’m ready for this pace,” our system prepares to perform.
Our brain organizes our performance around what it expects. Put that together and you get something simple, but powerful!
The conversation in our head doesn’t just describe the race. It prepares us for it.
So, when Jensen starts talking about how fast everyone else is and how hard the races are, nothing about his ability changes. But everything about how his system prepares does.
Attention drifts. The body tightens. Expectations shift.
Same athlete. Different preparation. Different outcome.
So what do we do with this?
It’s not about forcing ourselves to “be positive.” That’s not strong enough when things get hard and half the time we don’t believe it anyway!
We train the conversation.
First, we catch it! Awareness comes first. We can’t adjust a conversation we don’t hear. We need to pay attention to what shows up before and during performance.
Self-awareness is our superpower!
Second, we give our mind a job! The brain is always looking for something to lock onto. Without giving it direction, it will find distractions. Bring it back to one clear, controllable cue. Rhythm. Relaxed shoulders. First 200 pace.
Asking the right question is critical, too. Instead of “what if?”, be like a Navy SEAL and ask, “What do I know as facts?” This forces our brain to stop catastrophizing and return us to focusing on the present actionable realities.
“What if?” pulls our attention into the future, into things we don’t control and into outcomes we can’t predict.
“What do I know as facts right now?” shuts down the spiral and brings our brain back to the present. And when we answer it honestly, we quickly realize something.
Some facts don’t help us! Maybe we didn’t prepare the way we wanted. That might be true. But it’s not useful now. We can’t change that at the starting line or in the middle of a race. So, it’s not a performance fact.
We will perform better when we shift to the facts that matter. What do I know that helps me perform right now? Things like,” I know my first 200 pace”, “I know how to stay relaxed “, “I know how to compete”.
These are actionable facts. These are controllable. These bring our attention back, settle our body and reset our expectations.
Third, we shift how we speak to ourselves! Research shows that slightly distanced self-talk, using your name or “you,” can improve composure and execution under pressure. It creates just enough separation to think clearly and for whatever reason, we believe it more because we don’t trust “I”. It’s like you’re talking to someone else or like a coach would talk to you!
Better yet, talk to yourself like you would a teammate! You would never tell a teammate, “Good luck, they’re faster than you and this is going to hurt.” You’d give them something useful. Simple. Direct. Steady.
You deserve that same voice.
Because here’s the truth. We don’t need more ability to perform at our best. If we’re hoping for that, it’s too late when we’re standing on the line! Getting better is what practice is for!
When it’s go-time, we need a better conversation.
And that’s something you control every single time you step up to compete. So talk about what you want. Talk about what you know for sure. And use your "friend voice"…because if you don’t control the conversation, it will control you.
Julie
Julie Jones
Mental Performance Coach
SSB Performance
juliej@ssbperformance.com • 234-206-0946
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