Manage the Moment – Don’t Let Frustration Win the Game

Mindset Made Simple Tip #255 - Watch or Listen HERE.

Game Changers: Athlete Edition Podcast iHeartRadio ApplePodcasts Youtube Podbean Spotify

I had a blast this weekend serving as a color commentator for the Ohio High School Athletics Association State Softball Tournament. Thus, I spent the weekend watching some of the best high school softball teams in the state compete and while the talent on the field was incredible, things that caught my attention weren’t just the big plays or walk-off wins, the aggressive at-bats and huge strikeouts.

It was the moments in between.

You know what I’m talking about, the reaction to a pitch call that doesn’t go your way, the body language after a missed opportunity, the facial expression following a teammate’s error. It wasn’t always what happened during the play that made the biggest impact, it was how athletes responded to what happened after.

It reminded me of studies from the world of tennis where researchers analyzed video from warm-ups and matches and found that body language makes a huge difference in play…and in our opponents'.

To no surprise, athletes who kept their cool, managed their emotions, and showed controlled, confident body language, regardless of what just happened, were more likely to win the match. Maybe because they had more to celebrate or maybe because they moved on after a point or mistake.

But here’s what’s crazy! Research also found that athletes can gain an advantage by using appropriate, in this case, productive body language, meaning powerful posture, eyes and chest up, etc. as they warm up. Why? Because Greenless, et.al. found that athletes expect to perform better against those who present negative body language.

So, how we look gives our opponent fuel for their fire…or the opposite!

If that’s the case, what do our reactions to mistakes or bad calls in the game do to our opponents’ perceptions of their place of power…and how do they affect our power?

Back at Firestone Stadium this weekend, I saw these same principles at work.

One player didn’t get a strike call on what looked like a good pitch. She visibly shook her head, walked off the rubber with slumped shoulders, turned her palms to the air and muttered to herself. (Not sure what she said, but I have a pretty good idea!). Her catcher did the same.

On the flip side of the equation, a hitter took a questionable strike. No eye roll. No slump. She paused. Reset.  Stepped back in and hit a 2-run homerun!

Frustration is normal. In fact, it’s human. Our brains are wired to protect us, and when something feels unfair, our fight-or-flight response kicks in. But performance lives in the space between stimulus and response, and that space is where elite performers manage their minds.

Let’s break it down.

First, how we manage our emotions matters. According to Gross’s Emotion Regulation Theory, athletes who can reframe a frustrating situation (“I’ll get the next one”) rather than ruminate on it (“That was BS”) have better focus, improved decision-making and faster recovery (Gross, 1998).

Next, as we often discuss, our posture matters in our performance. Research shows that posture affects performance. Expansive, upright body language activates the same circuits as confidence, while slouched, defeated body language reinforces doubt and anger. You don’t have to feel confident to act confident or be competitive!  

In fact, the taller you stand and sit, the more positive words you use…and, as author Trevor Moawad says, “words are tools. The predict and perpetuate performance.”

The words we say to ourselves after a frustrating moment either fuel the fire or put it out. Using phrases like “Next pitch,” “You’re okay,” or “Get back to work” gives our brain direction and cuts off spiraling thoughts before they can take root.

Finally, studies show that anger narrows attention and decreases cognitive flexibility, two things you desperately need in high-pressure performance moments (Forgas, 1995). Staying calm doesn’t mean you don’t care, it means you’re in control.

Here's the truth I’ve shared with many athletes and must remember myself: Frustration isn’t the problem—what we do with it is.

The best athletes feel it, but they don’t feed it. They shake it off. They refocus. They choose their next action deliberately.

Next time you feel frustration rising:

1. Breathe: One slow exhale can trigger a calming response in your brain.

2. Reset: Use a cue word, wristband tap or quick physical reset to get back to now.

3. Reframe: “This moment is not bigger than me. I’ve handled worse.”

The athletes who thrive aren’t perfect, they’re PRESENT! They know that letting one bad call ruin the next play is like letting one flat tire make you slash the other three.

Let it go. Get back in. Give yourself a chance to win the next moment. Because that’s what separates the good from the great, not just talent, but how you manage the moments that don’t go your way.

As I watched those state championship games, it was clear: The game doesn’t just test your skills, it tests your mind. And the athletes who passed the mental test? They were the ones holding the trophy.

Here’s to managing the moment and playing the next one with purpose!

Julie

P.S. Thinking about next year? Let’s work together. Shoot me an email or text – juliej@ssbperformance.com or 234-206-0946 We can build a program that fits your team!

Julie Jones

Mental Performance Coach

SSB Performance

www.ssbperformance.com

juliej@ssbperformance.com • 234-206-0946