Mindset Made Simple Tip #27
– Our Judgements!
Honoring the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. could not come at a more perfect time this year. As we look back at his life, work and dreams, we are inspired to DREAM and HOPE for equality and peace.
A divided house (or team) cannot stand.
I truly hope that Dr. King’s words guide us through the next few months and help heal the divide we see around us.
But why did (and still does) Dr. King’s message fall on so many deaf ears? Why do some not see issues that others see so blatantly? Why are we so quick to judge others and think that our way is right and just and they are dead wrong?
Simply put, as Stephen Covey said, “we judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.”
So, we know our intentions and judge them as righteous, caring, just, etc. but do not consider or judge what we actually DO!
If we don’t act the way we intended, we can quickly make an excuse and go back our initial intentions… “I didn’t mean to mess up the drill, I….”
BUT, if one of our teammates does the same thing, we judge him or her on actions alone.
We don’t consider the fact that they, too, may have had good intentions.
Thus, we judge them much harsher than we judge ourselves.
The same goes with our political, religious or other beliefs.
We believe that our way of thinking is what is best for society as a whole and can’t possibly think the other side, or the other religion, has such altruistic intentions.
How does this INTROSPECTIVE ILLUSION effect our teams and what does it have to do with PEAK PERFORMANCE?
We screw up, we blow it off.
Someone else screws up, we question their commitment, effort and capabilities.
We hold a belief that our party’s legislation will better the country. The other guys are trying to destroy democracy.
These types of conflicts, whether out in the open or under the surface can have a negative affect on team dynamics, culture and performance.
It all ties back to our SUPERPOWER…SELF-AWARENESS!
Can we get our athletes to understand that we tend to operate within this double-standard and it then affects or thoughts, emotions, actions and results?
We let ourselves off the hook and are quick to hang others, neither of which would seem to enhance our performance!
Should we get our athletes to understand or consider other’s intentions?
OR should we level the playing field and get them to hold both themselves AND others accountable by their actions?
After all, our actions are ultimately what help and hurt others.
When you and your team get into a situation where judgement, blame and criticism are getting in the way for whatever reason, maybe it is time to think about why we are judging the speck in our teammate’s eye when we have a plank in ours!
What have we DONE in similar situations? NOT what did we INTEND to do?
What could the other’s have INTENDED to do? And what could have led to their actions?
When we pause and consider the fact that we all think in very similar patterns, regardless of our beliefs or intentions, we will quickly see that we may need to show a little more grace to others OR we may need to be a little tougher on ourselves.
Simply understanding that our judgements are skewed by our own intentions and inconsiderate of others’ can get us to move past insignificant frustrations with others.
This self-awareness can also help us accept differing views without harmful vilification or retaliation.
Seems so simple.
Yeah, right! We know that is not true!
I am not asserting that we just let harmful ideals go unchecked or intentional negative actions go without accountability.
But most conflicts to not rise to that level. Most get under our skin and boil there for far too long.
Maybe it is time to stick to our intentions and DO what we intended without the need to make excuses.
And maybe it is time to be a little kinder, knowing others may be coming from a good place as well.
We cannot control other’s intentions or actions BUT WE DO get to decide how we react to other’s actions and beliefs.
We are never powerless. We can always choose! Remember our E+R=O?
It all comes down to understanding why and how our thoughts and mindset affect our actions.
The more aware we become, the more control we have over our outcomes…and maybe we throw a little kindness around as well!
Have a great MLK Jr. Day! Wishing you all a great week!
Certified Mental Performance & Mindset Coach
firstname.lastname@example.org • 234-206-0946
Be strong and courageous. Joshua 1:9