Control What You Can
- Julie Jones
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
Check out my son's new "Mindset Minute" series and share with young athletes you know who want to up their game!
Last week, we talked about driving through the rain — leaning forward, squinting through the glare, and realizing that while we couldn’t see the whole road, we could still see enough to move forward safely.
This week, I want to take that idea one step further.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and more than twenty years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was young, scared and at times, felt completely out of control.
I had to make big decisions — surgery, treatment, next steps — and I had no idea what any of the outcomes would be. So I did what a lot of us do when we’re uncomfortable or uncertain: I tried to get control by gathering all the information I could.
I read everything.
I Googled everything (bad idea). And 20 years ago…that was a slow and painful process!
I asked everyone.
And while being informed is good, there comes a point when too much information becomes paralyzing. I was living way too far down the road, imagining every possible outcome and the storyteller in my head was loud.
Looking back, I realize I was trying to control things that couldn’t be controlled. The future. The what-ifs. The unknowns.
And that’s exhausting — on or off the field.
In sport, at work, in life, the best performers, the ones who show up consistently and thrive under pressure, have learned this truth: They focus their time and energy only on what they can control.
Effort. Attitude. Preparation. Response.
And what they can do NOW to be their best!
That’s it.
When we start trying to control the uncontrollable…like what others think, how others play, how something might turn out…we lose the mental bandwidth and emotional energy we need to do the things that actually make us better.
And trust me, I learned that the hard way.
After my surgery, I’d heard that the legendary Coach Donna Newberry had run just a week after her double mastectomy. So, of course, I thought, If she can do it, I can too!
Bad idea. Huge mistake.
I remember lying in bed afterward thinking (not for the first time in my life), “I’m so stupid!”
Because sometimes “controlling what you can” doesn’t mean forcing something to happen — it means knowing when to pause, listen, and give yourself what you need. It means being wise, not just tough.
And here’s the kicker! Years later, I asked Coach Newberry about her post-surgery run.
Guess what? NEVER HAPPENED. Awesome.
But it was a perfect reminder: we waste so much energy trying to live up to stories that aren’t even true…stories we create in our heads or hear from others… instead of simply focusing on what we can control, in our moment, with our body, our mindset and our needs.
So, whether you’re recovering from surgery, coming back from injury, or just trying to figure out what’s next, remember this:
Control what you can. Let go of what you can’t.
Get the information you need. Not all of it. Focus on what’s right in front of you. And keep moving forward, one clear (and true) step at a time.
Because progress in sport, in recovery and in life doesn’t come from having all the answers. It comes from focusing your energy where it matters most.
And a quick reminder: This month… and every month… please do your self-checks and schedule your mammograms if you’re of age.
Early detection saves lives. It saved mine.
Manage the moments!
Julie
P.S. Add a 3-session mental lab into your fall season. Reach out and let’s build the perfect one for you! Shoot me an email or text – juliej@ssbperformance.com or 234-206-0946
Julie Jones
Mental Performance Coach
SSB Performance
juliej@ssbperformance.com • 234-206-0946