Training Your Mental Game… When You’re Not Training at All
- Julie Jones
- 2d
- 5 min read
You’ve probably heard me say this before…or something like it:
We don’t magically develop emotional control under pressure, just like our military does not learn new maneuvers in battle. They learn new things on our soil (mostly)…and we practice – or should practice - our mental performance tools, not when we are facing our biggest foe, but in the messy, boring everyday moments.
We don’t wait until the seventh inning, down one with bases loaded, to learn how to breathe.We don’t wait until that huge sales call to get present.We don’t wait until a tight game to practice resetting.
Nope. If we’re smart, we build those tools in the small moments at home… when nobody’s watching.
And here’s the truth: We’re about to enter the perfect training ground for our mental game.
A break is coming…even if it’s only for a few days. Schedules change or disappear. Accountability loosens. And your brain, which loves routine, starts wobbling like a toddler learning to walk.
But here’s the opportunity nobody talks about: The holiday break...or the holidays in general are the best time of the entire year to train our mental performance skills.
Not in the cage. Not on a stage. Not in the weight room or on the field (sounds like a Dr. Suess book)! But in the real moments of life, where emotional control is tested a hundred times a day.
When you’re under a different roof. When our routine disappears. When you’re surrounded by people who love you… and can still drive you absolutely crazy when distractions multiply. When motivation dips. When comparison creeps in. When we’re running around like crazy. When the couch looks better than the cold air outside.
This is our lab. This is where we get our reps.
Real life is our best dress rehearsal!
I know it sounds weird to say, “Hey, let’s use holiday chaos to get mentally stronger!” But think about it.
If we can regulate our emotions when:
We’re exhausted but still expected to lead, parent, coach, teach, or show up composed\
We feel pulled in seven directions and can’t decide what to do first
Someone’s tone hits the wrong nerve and our body tightens before our brain can catch up
Your best-laid daily routine blows up by 8:15 a.m.
You scroll social media and start comparing your progress, leadership, or success to others
We’re overwhelmed, tired, bored or annoyed
…then we’re building the EXACT skills we’ll need in tight moments on the court, field or in the boardroom!
The nervous system doesn’t care where the stress comes from. It only cares how you respond.
If we can reset on our couch or in our kitchen, we’ll reset on the field.
The holiday season offers unlimited chances to use your reset tools:
You can use them when:
Your family’s energy is… a lot.
You’re overstimulated.
You’re irritated.
You’re overwhelmed.
You’re tempted to react instead of respond.
All good resets include a breathing cue…and these aren’t just “breathing tricks.” They change your physiology: lower heart rate, reduce stress hormones, increase coordination…the stuff that matters when the game and life get fast.
If you can reset before responding to a family member, guess what? You can reset before the next big decision or the next pitch.
The holidays restructure our days and our mindsets! Not being in our normal routine feels good… and stressful all at the same time.
Less structure, more people, more emotion, fewer reps, more interruptions, more noise. It’s wonderful…and it can chip away at our confidence if we’re not careful.
So here’s the question: What do you need to do to stay confident in your skills, your preparation, and your commitment to who you plan to be when life snaps back to… well… real life?
Here’s a simple answer: Build evidence. Every day. On purpose.
Your brain trusts what it sees repeatedly. So instead of hoping you’ll walk back into training, coaching or leading with confidence, let’s build it one small, undeniable receipt at a time.
Each night, ask yourself:
What’s one training win today? It can be small. It can be imperfect. It can be mental rehearsal. A win is a win.
What’s one mental win today? Did you reset? Did you breathe instead of react? Did you shift your focus when you felt yourself spiraling? Great! Write it down. That’s a real mental and/or psychological rep.
What’s one personal/teammate/parent/leader win today? Maybe you were patient. Maybe you showed up when you didn’t want to. Maybe you practiced kindness, set a boundary, or held someone accountable.
These reps matter just as much as physical ones!
Why does this work? By the time you return from break, you won’t just feel confident, you’ll have pages of proof that you stayed committed, intentional and emotionally steady when it wasn’t easy.
That evidence becomes your armor. Your separator. Your reminder that you can trust yourself…because you’ve already been doing the work.
Finally, here’s the superglue of consistency…FIND A FRIEND!
Harvard research tells us that we are 500% more likely to follow through on a goal when we report to another human. Yes — 500%.
So, by all means, pick a partner! Check in once or twice a week! Ask a few questions like, “What are you proud of?” Or, “What are you avoiding?” Or, “What’s your plan?”
This is how you stay connected, committed, and grounded even when you’re miles apart.
When we train our tools when “it doesn’t matter” (even though all of this matters!), that’s where we find the magic.
Anyone can breathe when things feel good. Anyone can stay disciplined with a perfect schedule. Anyone can focus when everything is structured.
But if we can:
Reset when overwhelmed
Stay committed when it’s dull
Stay kind when irritated
Be disciplined when unmotivated
We can walk back onto campus or into the New Year’s sales meeting in January with a competitive edge no one else has.
These tools can be used ANYWHERE…and the more we use them, the more they become our M.O.! So, notice the moments you get pulled off your center and ask, “How can I use this moment to train my mental game?”
Get distracted? Reset. Get frustrated? Reset. Start spiraling? Three-win scan. Avoiding something? Text your partner.
Use life as practice. Because emotional control isn’t built on the field or during a presentation. It’s revealed there.
And when the pressure hits in the New Year, you’ll know exactly how to come home to yourself.
Use the holidays to stay sharp. Stay steady. Stay committed. And in the end, our break becomes our separation season! We’re widening the gap during the holidays one small, intentional rep at a time.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Julie
P.S. Add a 3-session mental lab into your season. Reach out and let’s build the perfect one for you! Shoot me an email or text – juliej@ssbperformance.com or 234-206-0946
Julie Jones
Mental Performance Coach
SSB Performance
juliej@ssbperformance.com • 234-206-0946
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