Want to Win? Help! The Hidden Edge of High Performers!
- Julie Jones
- May 28
- 6 min read
Game Changers: Athlete Edition Podcast iHeartRadio ApplePodcasts Youtube Podbean Spotify
In case you haven’t heard, Kortney Harmon, one of my former players and I have started a podcast…and it’s a blast! One of the greatest joys of coaching is watching your former players contribute to the world in game-changing ways. And I get to see a lot of that with Kortney and so many other amazing humans I had the pleasure of coaching!
Over the past few weeks, Kortney and I have had the privilege of interviewing several high performers on Game Changers: Athlete Edition and a recurring theme has emerged: helping others not only uplifts those around us but also propels us to perform at our best.
From US Soccer star Katie Scott to NFL alum Micheal Blair and our upcoming guests author JP Nerbun and leadership expert Jason Ronai, all our peak performers talk about HELPING!
Yes, HELPING. Kortney and I set out to find out what makes high performers tick. And we hear the same story from all of them.
And since my RAS (reticular activating system) is now searching for more evidence on this “helping” theme, I hear it everywhere. On podcasts. In the books I'm reading.
Even the great Mr. Rogers said "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'"
And those helpers are not only the heroes, but they are the peak performers, too!
This insight isn't just anecdotal; it's backed by research and echoed by experts in performance psychology.
My current nighttime reading, Help the Helper, (often recommended by Alabama softball coach Patrick Muphy as he talks about “mutida,” delighting in others' joy) delves into the essence of exceptional teams. Authors Pritchard and Eliot emphasize that "truly special teams in all fields have one common denominator: a willingness to do whatever it takes to help the helper." This culture of mutual support fosters an environment where everyone thrives.
As we my Portland State Vikings teams like to say, rising tides lift all ships!
And in my Stairmaster reading, George Mumford, in Unlocked, talks about how mindfulness and supporting teammates are intertwined, leading to enhanced performance and personal growth.
As he better understood how mindfulness can unlock performance he found the more he shared it to help others, the more he changed his life from drug addict to author and mindfulness coach to legends like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant.
One of the highlights of my career was the work we did in the community. Yes, it’s expected. And sometimes it seemed like another “to do” on a very busy calendar. But the truth is, no matter how inconvenient it seemed at times, when we helped others, not only did we bring joy to their lives, but we were better for it, too. If I look back, I am certain I would see a positive correlation between the more things we did together in the community and the positive culture of our teams.
All this “helper” talk makes sense. When we help others, teams do better. But in the race to the top, we often forget that helping helps us, too! But how?
It changes our perspective and our physiology! Research shows that assisting others can mitigate the effects of stress. A study published in Clinical Psychological Science found that individuals who engaged in more helping behaviors reported higher levels of positive emotion and were less affected by daily stressors. And we know that positive emotion is the number
one predictor of peak performance!
When we feel stressed, the more we look to help, the less stressed we are. And the less stressed we are, the better we perform.
On The School of Greatness podcast host, Lewis Howes talks about this as he was fighting the fear of public speaking…which many people fear more than death! Howes’ speech coach told him to stop thinking about himself and how he was performing on stage and to start thinking about how he was helping the audience with the information he was sharing. This totally changed his perspective and helped him manage his fear of public speaking. He was giving…not a guy on a stage with people looking at him. He wasn’t wondering what other people were thinking, doing or saying. He was GIVING and HELPING…and that changed everything.
The shift from egocentric to OTL (observing the landscape) and help can be a game changer. The more we ruminate on the past or future, a mistake or doubt, the worse off we are. The more we get out of our heads and into someone else, not worrying about what they are doing, but looking to make the situation around us better, the better we perform.
This is also known as the "tend-and-befriend" response, as discussed by psychologist Shelley E. Taylor who suggests that seeking social connections during stressful times is much more beneficial than the traditional fight-or-flight response. This approach not only reduces stress but also strengthens social bonds.
It’s not that we’re trying to make friends on the field during stressful performances, but connecting with the outside world, where the game is played and our teammates who are in it and using those connections to be creative in our thinking, secure in our decisions and aggressive in our actions helps us capitalize on opportunities. Helping teammates, colleagues and peers creates a feedback loop of support and excellence that drives sustained success.
As legendary coach John Wooden said, “A team will never succeed if the members are more concerned about their own performance than the performance of the group.”
Former NFL Star Greg Olsen, on the Way of Champions podcast, talked about a receiver’s job in an NFL game. He said he might only get the ball 4 or 5 times out of 70 offensive snaps and being excited or only going all out solely when it's your turn doesn't contribute to the team's success. It was his job to go all out on every play, whether the ball was headed his way or not. Why? Because it helped his teammates and gave the team a better opportunity to move the ball.
Plain and simple. Whether he was targeted or not was irrelevant. He had to act like he was going to be, no matter what! That’s a commitment to the team's collective success, not just individual moments.
Research shows that running great routes, ball or not, makes us feel better. The act of helping others activates the brain's reward centers, leading to what's often termed the "helper's high." This surge of positive emotion not only feels good but also contributes to improved health and longevity.
And you’ll stay on the field or in your job longer, too! 😊
The “make a difference” tattoo that 17-year-old professional soccer player Katie Scott has on her forearm says it all. It is her job, in her opinion, to help everyone on the US 20 and under team play to their peak. That means she has to help…and in the end, it helps her.
Yes, Katie must focus on herself and her own improvement. Without working to be your best and putting your oxygen mask on first, you’ll never reach the top. But, as Michael Jordan once said, “To be successful, you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish. Stay reachable. Stay in touch. Don’t isolate.” That transition from self-focus to team-focus is where greatness happens.
So, in this stat chasing, transfer portal, “I need a better title” culture, how do we convince people that helping helps us all?
Be like Dean Smith. Demand (yes, demand to start) that the scorer points to the person who passed him the ball. Someone helped him score, and we repeat the things that people notice or applaud. So celebrating assists creates more of them.
Ask teammates to point out one way someone helped the team get better each day after practice. We are then searching for helpers like Mr. Rogers’ mom told him to do.
Have people share ways that they helped someone or something improve each day. That way their RAS is looking for opportunities to be helpers. As I ask my teams in our session “well-better-how” activities, “What are you contributing to what is going well?” We need to know now our contributions affect culture, performance and outcomes. And if we can’t pinpoint anything, we need to step it up!
Model it as a leader. Help make things easier for people…to do, to understand, to manage! And thank those who help you in even the smallest of ways. In the Culture Code, author Daniel Coyle encourages us to “overdo thank yous.” He says, “This is because thank-yous aren’t only expressions of gratitude; they’re crucial belonging cues that generate a contagious sense of safety, connection, and motivation.” All necessary for peak performance!
These small gestures and behaviors can have significant impacts on the giver, the receiver and the outcome!
Helping reduces stress, builds connection and even contributes to better health and longevity. No wonder peak performers make it a part of their process!
In embracing the mindset of helping others, we not only uplift those around us but also unlock our own potential.
Talk about a game-changer!
Manage the moments!
Julie
P.S. Thinking about next year? Let’s work together. Shoot me an email or text – juliej@ssbperformance.com or 234-206-0946 We can build a program that fits your team!
Julie Jones
Mental Performance Coach
SSB Performance
juliej@ssbperformance.com • 234-206-0946
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