Words Matter More Than We Think

Mindset Made Simple Tip #265 - Watch or listen HERE.  

Check out the second half of our conversation with Josie Owen-Kren, Michigan WSOC, on the latest episode of Game Changers: Athlete Edition iHeartRadio ApplePodcasts Youtube Podbean Spotify

“We do not describe the world we see. We see the world we describe.” – Dr. Andrew Newberg

I saw this firsthand as I sat next to my dad in the ICU not long ago.

The ICU doctor walked in and delivered her version of the truth: “Things are not good. You need a DNR. We’re not sure how this is going to go.”

One day, he’s driving himself to get an EKG, and a few days later, we are in a life-or-death situation in one of the best heart hospitals in the world with little to do.

My dad, a guy who rarely gets rattled, was so anxious he couldn’t rest. Should he fight, or was it time? It was tough to watch.

Then, in comes his cardiologist. A jovial Argentinian whom we adore.

He said, “You’re in bad shape, but it doesn’t”. Was he over-optimistic because he likes my dad? Was he giving us false hope? It was a rollercoaster I’d rather not ride again!

Same situation. Same data. Different story…different delivery. And it changed everything. My dad went from being ready to die to being ready to live.

This is the power of words.

Whether we’re on the field, in the office or a hospital bed, the language we hear…and more importantly, the language we use…shapes our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

In a recent episode of the Huberman Lab podcast, Dr. Andrew Huberman broke down something incredibly powerful: we can boost our own dopamine levels, not with drugs, not with external rewards, but by how we frame our effort and experiences.

Let that sink in for a second. We can literally influence our brain chemistry with our mindset and our words.

Here’s the deal! Dopamine is the chemical of motivation and pursuit. It's what drives us to chase goals, stick with challenges and come back for more. It’s released when we anticipate a reward, but even more powerfully when we associate the process of effort itself with purpose and meaning.

Huberman says when we reframe effort as something we choose, something we enjoy or see as growth-producing, we trigger an upward spiral of dopamine release.

This isn’t just feel-good stuff. Dopamine influences attention, learning, mood and motor output. And more dopamine = more sustained energy toward meaningful goals.

Here’s the kicker: When we wait for results (the win, the recognition, the PR) to get a dopamine hit, we’re always playing from behind. But when we learn to generate dopamine internally by how we think and talk about what we’re doing, we become unstoppable.

So saying, “I’m choosing to grind today because this is who I am” or “I enjoy pushing myself because I grow here” literally changes how your brain works.

You’re not just talking yourself into something. You’re triggering the chemical that helps you perform better.

In their book Words Can Change Your Brain, Dr. Andrew Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman explain how positive language activates the motivational centers of the brain. Over time, this practice alters the structure and function of our brains, particularly in the parietal lobe, which is associated with our self-perception and perception of the world.

Repeated negative words? They activate the amygdala and flood the body with stress chemicals like cortisol. That means poor word choice…even in our own heads…literally makes us feel worse and perform worse.

But repeated positive (I prefer the word productive, personally, but the literature uses positive, so we’ll go with it for now), empowering language builds resilience, optimism and belief. It builds our ability to keep going, even when things get hard.

So when we choose words that help us associate effort with purpose and growth, we’re not just “thinking positive”, we’re chemically recharging our motivational system in real time.

Dr. Ethan Kross, in his book Chatter, shows us how inner dialogue shapes emotional regulation and decision-making. He even found that switching to second-person self-talk (e.g., “You’ve got this” instead of “I’ve got this”) creates helpful distance between our emotions and our actions. It turns our inner voice into more of a coach than a critic.

This matters under pressure. That voice inside our head is our strategy. And if our strategy is full of doubt, dread, or negativity, we’re sabotaging our own performance before the action even begins.

When we feel overwhelmed, frustrated or stuck, our words become even more important. Just like my dad’s mindset shifted with a single reframe from “you might not make it” to “this isn’t fatal,” our performance shifts when we frame our effort with intention and possibility.

Words don’t just reflect what we’re experiencing; they shape what we experience. They’re not just sounds coming out of our heads. They’re chemical triggers in our brain that shift everything from energy to mood to resilience.

How easy is it to put this into practice? Try this…

Instead of “I have to go to practice”… try “I get to push myself today.”

Instead of “I’m exhausted”… try “I gave great effort today. That’s why I’m tired.”

Instead of “This is too hard”… try “This is where I get better.”

Instead of “I’m terrible at this”… try “I’m learning something new.”

Here’s what’s so amazing about all of this: we don’t have to wait on anything or anyone else to feel better, perform better or stay motivated. We have access to the most powerful reward system in the world…our own dopamine…and we can activate it with the right mindset and words.

So speak with purpose. Frame your effort as your choice. Say what helps you.

TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT! Because how we talk about it changes how we feel about it. And how we feel about it changes how we SHOW UP every single day.

Manage the moments…and your words!

Julie

P.S. What are you waiting for? You know your team can get better with better focus and self-talk. Let me take the work off your plate and put together a synchronous or asynchronous program to help your team master the mental game! Shoot me an email or text – juliej@ssbperformance.com or 234-206-0946

Julie Jones

Mental Performance Coach

SSB Performance

www.ssbperformance.com

juliej@ssbperformance.com • 234-206-0946